I was having a nice chat with a friend of mine recently.
Such a luxury as a mum to be able to sit with a hot cuppa and talk about all the things you would like to catch up on. We talked about this and that, and it made me think a little about how we can often take for granted those who mean the most to us.
With all of the things going on at the moment I hadn’t even realised that Mother’s Day is just around the corner. It is a day that seems a little bit forced to me sometimes and we forget that it can be a painful reminder to those who have lost someone dear to them. I get that it is a day where we can show those we love how much we care, and to show that we appreciate everything they do, perhaps with a little gift. Surely though, it is our actions that will show this and not the most expensive cards or flowers bought from that well- known chain store.
My mum hates material things. Notoriously difficult to buy for, she prefers real things instead of the superficial. While she smiles at a bunch of cut flowers, she would much prefer the living, growing kind. Chocolates and cards are all well and good, but if you asked her she would tell you that she would much prefer a room full of her family and perhaps a nice Sunday lunch at home (with real Yorkshire puddings).
I have realised that my mum and my mother-in-law are the real mothers who have really ‘earned their stripes’. They have the mum thing down to a tee. Their houses have been made into real homes that everyone goes to for comfort in times of celebration or hardship. They have really seen life over the years, and they have brought up a family in amongst all of the things that life has thrown at them.
These are the mums that deserve the family day or the day of rest.
Sometimes as a mum of two, I feel like a bit of a novice. After all, my C.V is only six years long. I regularly get things wrong and on given days the children tell me so. I am guilty of not always remaining calm on the school run – but I always give them a kiss goodbye. I am guilty of forgetting the ‘after school snack’ or not always answering every question as I am driving – but I always ask how their day has been, and I always listen to the answer.
Having said all of this it is a lovely thing that the children are excited about Mother’s Day. They have made special cards or gifts at school, and they have proudly hidden them under their beds so that they can surprise me on the day. One of the best things about having children is that they always tell you the truth. They always tell you straight away when you are doing things the wrong way, and straight away if you are doing things the right way.
When they love you they tell you so, and it is unconditional.
My chat with my friend made me reflect a little. It reminded me to stop just for a minute and appreciate those in my life that I care about. I am still earning my stripes as a mum but nevertheless a mum I am, and I am proud to be so. Mother’s Day is not about one person, it is about family – those who are here now, and those who are no longer with us.
My little boy said something to me the other day that really made me smile. He said that they had said a little prayer at school for the grandmas & nanas who had gone up to heaven, and that he and his best friend had remembered their own nanas together with their little messages.
What a lovely way for children to remember the most special ladies of all. Gone but definitely never forgotten.
for Lillian & Connie
[Image from materialmaterial.com]